Dealing with loss and change can be very hard...  These past few months, I've certainly had my share. In cases of extreme stress, it's hard for me to take my own advice that I dole out so easily to others... As many of you know, poetry is one of the ways I work through my challenges. I tend to like happy endings- but I find that happiness and peace are things we have to continually seek out and maintain for ourselves, sometimes slowly, one step at a time. To talk about or even acknowledge difficulty can be one of those steps, especially for those expected to consistently display ongoing, unfaltering strength.

​Truth can be healing...

Here's another PoemStory, Where the Tree Was.

You only get one YOU. There are no replacements, stand-ins or substitutes. Taking care of your health determines much about how future goals are accomplished. The problem is that humans don’t always know when they are at danger’s edge. Stress is a primary contributing factor to many health problems. This is not to say that stress creates health problems, but many health problems otherwise avoided are often exacerbated by stress.

You only get one You. While I like to compare my body to a garden, a car, or a well-oiled machine, it’s not. The difference is, if I don’t take care of my car, I can get another one. If I let my garden go to weeds or find out that the soil is all rocks and salt- I can go and garden somewhere else. But my body? This is all I get.  It’s more like having one car all your life; only one garden in one place, and the climate that comes with it. There are no new car lots at which to cash in or trade up, no farmer’s market to substitute for the tilling and planting you have to do yourself. That’s the body.
 
Simple steps that can improve your health routine and lower your stress level are listed below:

• Exercise consistently.
• Eat well, especially fruits and vegetables.
• Sleep.
• Take good care of your mental and emotional health.
• See your doctor for regular checkups. Follow prescribed instructions.
• Speak up about the cause of your stress.
• Laugh.
• Leave negative environments.
• Surround yourself with positive people and situations.
• Create peaceful settings. 
• Develop a strong network of family and friends. Those who do this tend to manage stress better than those choose to manage alone.

None of this is new information. But, it requires deliberate action. Don’t become a statistic. Choose to take care of your physical and mental health by lowering your stress level. Choose to model good stress management skills to those you care about.

Cultivation of a great garden is deliberate. It may seem that healthy plants grow well on their own, but when you look closely, it becomes clear that they are responding to a very specific set of conditions.  Be intentional about maintaining the conditions that produce good physical, mental and spiritual health.  Embrace the natural beauty that results. You only get one You. 

Every day, we are driven to do more.  It is never enough. Every report, assignment, project, organizational position, service to the community and family obligations are undertaken and completed-  and still we are all asked to do more. There is no official measure of what is enough.

​The human mind is designed to do incredible things, yet there is a limit. Consider doing less, or, doing a few things well. Doing less allows time for the mind to recuperate. Often it isn’t realized how much one is doing until there is a pause and time to reflect.

It is often assumed that others will balk at the idea of receiving less from you- but in fact, others might be relieved that their interaction with you or your organization is simplified. This can lower the stress level of those around you.

What is enough? When are the actions taken more than the task requires? What is too much? When is it enough? You decide.​

Ever had issues that no self-help book in the world can fix? This is when you have to look within to create solutions unique to you.

For most, it is hard to find a model that is an exact detailed mirror of your life. This is because you are a unique individual and each situation has its own challenges. If conventional solutions don’t work for you, create one that is unique for your situation. Decide what the end result is that you are looking for and work towards that goal.

While even The Rest Stop doesn't have solutions to everything, but here is one idea for issues of time management, work overload, or issues with being overwhelmed. Try an exercise:  Take a look a blank calendar. Put in only what you want to do for the month or week. How different does this look from your actual calendar? This can give you an idea of the tasks you might want to modify, get help with, or eliminate for now. It doesn’t have to be forever. Take a chance and change something you’ve never changed before. Consider resigning from an organizational duty that is adding undue stress to your life. Consider utilizing adjustable hours at work for certain days. When you find an answer that works for you, be consistent and stick with it. Change takes time.

Stress is often aggravated by long term sameness or feelings of being trapped in a given situation or position. Big changes, like earthquakes, don’t typically happen all at once but they are often initiated by smaller ones below the surface.

Sometimes, when there is time and space to think clearly, when the noise and fog is cleared away, the solution for you will present itself and can be heard. Your solution does not have to look like everyone else’s if it assists you.

​Change is an attitude. Change is a choice. Initiate the change you seek. Circumstances may not change right away, but you can.

Things to think about...
​Identify a small change you made in the past that made a big difference.

Insight is different than help. Insight is alternative advice or perspective. Change is often difficult because we are most comfortable doing what we are used to- even if it isn’t the best answer. Asking for insight from others can add a perspective that you didn’t have before. The reasons people don’t ask for insight include: fear, shame, isolationist thinking (assuming that you are alone in the situation), and fear of losing respect.
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When asking for insight, thoughtfully choose those you ask. Study and observe those that are where you want to be in certain areas of life, rather than where you are. Have the courage to leave where you are and take a new path towards success and peace. When seeking insight, seek it from a variety of sources. Understanding how others deal with situations similar to your own can lead to creative solutions.  ​

Things to think about...
​What is the best advice you ever received?

What we believe dictates the direction of our lives. Our beliefs about work and success determine the choices we make. Just as with other areas of our lives, some of the things we are told to believe about success are not always true. Indeed, some philosophies have grown into wildly popular and distorted, closely held myths. Common myths about professional success are:

• “Thanks to multitasking, more always gets done in less time.”
• “Life changes can be made when everything else gets done.”
• “People who manage their jobs well don’t experience high levels of stress.”

When these and other myths about success are released from the mind, there is room to create positive personal definitions for success. Examples might include:

• I deserve rest and peace in my life.
• I work best when I am under less ongoing stress.
• Maintaining outside interests make me more positive and productive at work.

Identify, embrace and follow your own positive personal truths.  Actions that follow will often result in the discovery of unique solutions that are specifically designed for you.