Dr. Amy Freeman- The Rest Stop

5 - Ask for Insight

1/27/2017

Insight is different than help. Insight is alternative advice or perspective. Change is often difficult because we are most comfortable doing what we are used to- even if it isn’t the best answer. Asking for insight from others can add a perspective that you didn’t have before. The reasons people don’t ask for insight include: fear, shame, isolationist thinking (assuming that you are alone in the situation), and fear of losing respect.

When asking for insight, thoughtfully choose those you ask. Study and observe those that are where you want to be in certain areas of life, rather than where you are. Have the courage to leave where you are and take a new path towards success and peace. When seeking insight, seek it from a variety of sources. Understanding how others deal with situations similar to your own can lead to creative solutions.

Things to think about...
What is the best advice you ever received?

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4 - Let go of the Myths

1/20/2017

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What we believe dictates the direction of our lives. Our beliefs about work and success determine the choices we make. Just as with other areas of our lives, some of the things we are told to believe about success are not always true. Indeed, some philosophies have grown into wildly popular and distorted, closely held myths. Common myths about professional success are:

“Thanks to multitasking, more always gets done in less time.”
“Life changes can be made when everything else gets done.”
“People who manage their jobs well don’t experience high levels of stress.”

When these and other myths about success are released from the mind, there is room to create positive personal definitions for success. Examples might include:

I deserve rest and peace in my life.
I work best when I am under less ongoing stress.
Maintaining outside interests make me more positive and productive at work.

Identify, embrace and follow your own positive personal truths. Actions that follow will often result in the discovery of unique solutions that are specifically designed for you.

Things to think about...
Identify a popular professional myth or practice that you question- and why.

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3 - Rest

1/13/2017

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Every living thing on the face of the earth rests and recognizes that rest is an integral healthy part of the cycle of life. Trees hibernate in the winter for a reason. It enables them to store energy to produce the next season of fruit. Without rest, healthy fruit cannot continue. Only people think they don’t need rest. Without rest, there is no rejuvenation time for healing and recovery back to one’s best condition.

Vacation is just that: to vacate or leave the place where you are. If you are in a constant state of motion, vacation could be an environment of quiet and stillness. If you live in constant quiet focus, vacation could be an amusement park or a fast moving trip away with new activities each day.

If you are overwhelmed with too many commitments, you might start by saying NO. Others don’t seem to have problems saying no to you. Recognize when it is your turn to say NO to others who would add to your long to-do list.

Plan for rest ahead of time. One way is to get your calendar, scroll to a clear day or week. This might be weeks from now. Mark it off today, with “Out,” or Unavailable” or whatever code word you use to reserve hours for yourself. As time goes by, you’ll rediscover this empty space at the perfect time. Protect it.

Once you rest and take time to reflect, the world looks clearer, life appears more manageable, answers come faster, along with the positive energy to be productive again.

Things to think about...
How do you define a restful day or week? When was your last truly restful vacation?

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2 - Ask for Help

1/6/2017

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In a culture of never-ending work and expectations, it is common to feel overwhelmed and alone. Ask for help. This is the secret weapon of those who manage full schedules well. First, make a list of all the things you are required to complete in a given time or project. Then, identify the things that can only be done by you- and those that can actually be done by others.

Personal tasks that can be shared or completed by others might include: Carpooling for afterschool pick up, meeting a child at the bus stop, grocery shopping for basics each week, simple yard work (cut grass, snow shoveling), having a friend provide care giving for an ill family member for even three or four hours a week or an afternoon.

Professional tasks can sometimes be shared by partnering with another group or an individual doing similar work. Perhaps a smaller project could be passed on to someone else who is seeking more experience.

Asking for help is critical for speeding up the process of learning new things and building community with others. Asking for help invites advice from others and new perspectives. Learning and changing goes faster when you ask for help.

But- you only get help if you ask. It rarely comes to you by chance. And when you get help, treat people well. Allow for mistakes and the learning curve. When the load is lighter, you have a moment to regain your sanity, enjoy some personal space, or complete the tasks before you without losing yourself.

Things to think about...
How long do you wait before you ask for help? Could you ask sooner?

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1 - Schedule Yourself In First!

1/1/2017

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New Year. New Day. New Me.

Some of the frustration and stress of doing too much stems from the reality that much of what we do is for others, often with little regard for ourselves or our health, both physical and mental. One way to combat this is to schedule yourself in first. Make time each day for YOU, 30 minutes or even a whole hour out of 24!

For many, this is a challenge and flies in the face of the principle of selflessness and giving to others. But- when all of your energy has been depleted, there is less to give to anyone and it is difficult to give your best. You are just as important as all those you assist. Make sure you give back to yourself as well.

If it’s 30 minutes of walking each morning before work or at lunch time, schedule it in. If it’s an hour to read a magazine or garden, schedule it in. Perhaps you want to begin to chip away at a large project a little at a time. Maybe a cup of tea and a nap is what you dream about.

Schedules are tools that blatantly tell you how much you are doing. Extreme stress is often related to the over flowing, unrealistic schedule- or it is reflective of too little planning. The calendar and the checklist are but two of many tools that help us in streamlining all the things we do. Find the tools that work for you.

Get good at saying NO to events and commitments that would infringe on your personal time and peace of mind.

You’re worth it. Treat yourself well.

Things to think about...
What would you do with an extra hour each day? An extra hour each week?

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The Rest Stop.

5 - Ask for Insight

4 - Let go of the Myths

3 - Rest

2 - Ask for Help

1 - Schedule Yourself In First!

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